One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
