I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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