Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
