:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
