He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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