my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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