your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize