He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
