Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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