its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
