Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
