He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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