so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
