Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
