How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
