thus making me awesome and them whores
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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