We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
