Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
