the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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