so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
