My sheets look like a crime scene.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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