I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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