Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
