yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
