I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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