i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
