but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
