i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
