what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
