I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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