she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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