office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
