I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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