You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
