Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize