Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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