i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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