Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The feeling are messing with the penis
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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