these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Still dying that you shit outside
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
