I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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