she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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