peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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