she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
