that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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