i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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