I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
do nipples grow back?
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