return my video game
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
