We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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