I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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