I wanna bring you to show and tell
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
