Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
