I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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