dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
