Don't you send me to vm
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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