I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
