dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And then my night got REAL pukey
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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