so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
