I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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