i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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