Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
