i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
