Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
