We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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