Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
