i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
